COOOOOLD! Dairy Queen Blizzard Cup Lineup (Ep 74)

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Two global contenders. One chilly showdown. This week, the Bros head to Dairy Queen to match up with the “global flavors” of their limited-time Blizzard Cup Lineup. A “Mexican-style Hot Chocolate made with ABUELITA™ Blizzard® Treat” for Darren. A “BISCOFF® Cookie Blizzard® Treat” for Max (and a taste of “Strawberry Mango-flavored Mochi Blizzard® Treat”).

The story: Dairy Queen began in Illinois in 1940, pioneered the soft-serve game, and was snapped up by Warren Buffett's Berkshire Hathaway empire in 1997. These World Cup tie-ins may or may not be officially licensed, but take that up with Dairy Queen.

Plus: Vintage YouTube. Carvel’s better story. Mr. Peeper is watching. Martha Stewart and freeze ray technology. The death of the mall. And more.

In the closing segment: Darren rigs up a corporate randomizer so he and Max can pitch Warren Buffett a series of unhinged, high-concept cross-promotions. They’ll either secure a multi-billion dollar investment or never again be allowed at a DQ or Jordan’s Furniture. Not even in Garanimals.

WATCH THIS EPISODE

FROST BITES

Give YouTube a Shot. Max’s sister derailed the family group chat this week by unearthing a legendary digital artifact: a 2006 video titled, with absolute zero chill, Worst Singer Ever. We’re officially declaring this peak internet archaeology. The video quality, the aggressive lack of rhythm, the earnest confidence—it’s all beautifully frozen in amber. Look, YouTube turned 21 this year, and that’s a massive milestone. YouTube has spent more than two decades dealing with unhinged comment sections, copyright strikes, and hosting billions of hours of corporate randomizers. The platform doesn't need another software update; it needs a stiff drink. We're buying it a double.


Frozen in Time. Let’s talk about Encino Man (1992). Two high school outcasts dig up a frozen caveman in their backyard, thaw him out with a garage heater, and teach him how to absolutely shred the Sega arcade game Rad Mobile. It cost a modest $7.5 million, raked in over $40 million, and got absolutely pulverized by critics. Brendan Fraser didn't even realize it was a cult classic until decades later. Fun fact for the gaming nerds: Rad Mobile featured a tiny Sonic the Hedgehog keychain hanging from the rearview mirror, making it Sonic’s first-ever public appearance—predating his Sega Genesis debut by five months.

Swiss Owned, Grandma Approved. Before it became the star ingredient of a soupy DQ review, Abuelita hot chocolate was invented in Mexico back in 1939. Corporate giant Nestlé snapped it up in '95, but they wisely kept the face of legendary Mexican actress Sara García on the box. Unlike a lot of American hot chocolate—which is basically just brown sugar-water—real Mexican hot chocolate, dating back to the Aztecs, is heavily spiced with cinnamon and vanilla. It survived centuries of global history and corporate buyouts only to end up trapped inside an underwhelming cup of soft serve that we couldn't even flip upside down.

The Hobo Party Train. If you aren't familiar with the British 1905 classic book The Railway Children, it follows three kids who move near a train tracks after their dad gets mysteriously arrested. They spend their days waving at a train called the Green Dragon and mooching off the station workers. It's a sweet tale about community goodwill, which naturally explains why Darren’s brain immediately warped it into a 1930s drifter-themed freight train party package sponsored by Oriental Trading Company. Grab your tiny plastic harmonicas, kids, we’re riding the rails.

The Sci-Fi Freeze Ray Is Closer to Reality. The Summer Fancy Food Show just debuted cryogenic flash-freezing technology that blasts food with liquid nitrogen and CO2 to instantly lock in nutrients before they degrade. When you try to freeze food slowly in your regular freezer, the water expands into giant ice crystals that literally explode the food's cell walls from the inside out. Cryogenic freezing is essentially a weaponized sci-fi freeze ray. So, can we use it on ourselves?

YOUR COLD CUTS

Have you tried any of the DQ World Cup flavors? Have you ever had a Blizzard that straight up couldn’t be turned upside down? Should Darren be calling DQ corporate? Or go direct to Warren Buffett?

Did anyone actually play Rad Mobile in a physical arcade back in the day?

And most importantly, on a scale of 1 to 10, how likely are you to attend our 1930s hobo-themed freight train party?

Hit us up on the Let's Chill page and let us know!

ENJOYING THE POD?

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Fro yo' later!

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