Fool Me Once, Feed Me Twice: Tina’s vs. El Monterey Beef & Bean Burritos (Ep 60)
This week's face-off pits two of the cheapest frozen burritos against each other: Tina's Beef & Bean vs. El Monterey Beef & Bean. One of these brands claims to be America's number one selling frozen burrito. So does the other one. Somebody's lying—or maybe nobody is. Either way, we dig into the histories: a family that fled the Mexican Revolution and built an empire on Grandma Rosie's recipes, a mysterious company called Camino Real Foods that invented a mascot who doesn't exist, and a brief but unavoidable detour into why you may have heard the name "Tina" in a completely different context.
In the closing segment, Darren unveils Stick Figuring—a game where Max tries to identify famous moments in frozen food and Froze Bros history from Darren's extremely crude hand-drawn illustrations. Check out our Instagram to play along.
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FROST BITES
Hot Dr. Pepper Is a Real Thing: Max went down a memory hole involving a YouTube video and a kid with a saucepan. Hot Dr. Pepper—literally just Dr. Pepper warmed up and served with lemon—was an actual suggestion from the brand back in the 1950s. Dr Pepper marketed it as a winter drink, just like hot cocoa or cider. It didn’t quite catch on, but the YouTube kid gave it his best shot, and Max has never forgotten him. YouTube kid, can we get you on the pod?Rita's Water Ice and the Mango Custard: The first day of spring means free water ice day at Rita's, and Max showed up. For the uninitiated, water ice is somewhere between a slushy and a sorbet. Max got the mango with vanilla custard swirled on top, which he describes as being like a mango creamsicle. Rita's, for the record, was founded in Levittown, Pennsylvania in 1984 by Bob Tumolo, who named it after his wife. There is a Rita. Unlike Tina.
Hey, Big Spenders: Max raised a good question this week—what's the most expensive item the Bros have ever reviewed? We have the answer, but we want to know if you know. Email us your best guess at frozebrospod@gmail.com. The first listener to get it right wins a Froze Bros shoutout, a sticker, and (if the size matches) a Froze Bros shirt. No hints. Good luck.
Tennessee Williams Named His Most Absurd Play After a Burrito: Well, not exactly, but the coincidence is hard to ignore. Camino Real is a “strange and disturbing” 1953 play by Williams set in a dead-end Spanish-speaking town surrounded by desert—a surreal netherworld populated by Don Quixote, Casanova, Lord Byron, and an all-American everyman named Kilroy. It flopped on Broadway with only 60 performances, but Darren never misses a chance to drop some theater history.
The Stick Figure Is Older Than Dirt: This week's Stick Figuring segment—Darren's new game where Max has to guess famous frozen food and Froze Bros moments from rough drawings—has a surprisingly distinguished history. The stick figure's roots can be traced back to cave paintings over 40,000 years old. Darren's contribution to this prehistoric tradition is three bros passed out after stuffing themselves with frozen food.
YOUR COLD CUTS
Two burritos entered. One burrito won. What's your go-to frozen burrito? And what are you putting on it? Hot sauce? Sour cream? Cheese?Also: Max has a dream of inventing an edible, flavorless sandwich glue to keep everything from falling apart mid-bite. We want your best suggestions. What would you make it out of?
And more: Max had the hiccups for essentially the entire episode. What's your hiccup cure? We need solutions. Drop us a line at frozebrospod@gmail.com and let us know.
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