Sho'nuff Southern: Dolly Parton's Shrimp & Grits (Ep 84)

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The Bros say goodbye to Dolly Parton the only way they know how. This week: Dolly Parton’s Shrimp & Grits. Sharp white cheddar grits, seasoned shrimp, cherry tomatoes, scallions, and a scratch-made spicy sauce, all in her classic pink box.

The story: Dolly's food empire built up in stages. Duncan Hines baking mixes in 2022, then a full licensing deal with Conagra in January 2024 that brought Dolly to the freezer aisle. Homestyle Meatloaf, Chicken & Dumplings, Country Fried Steak, plus desserts like Peach Cobbler and a chocolate pie the Bros were decidedly less than kind to in a previous episode.

Plus: Max's backyard garden, pommes de terre, key lime pie. A wave of recalls. Nine to Five and Steel Magnolias, Dolly's Imagination Library, and a fierce debate over whether it's normal to watch your microwave the entire time it's running.

In the closing segment: two New England boys take on "How Southern Are You?," a quiz from It's a Southern Thing. Will Darren and Max be "Sho'nuff Southern," or will they be exposed as the carpetbaggers they are?

WATCH THIS EPISODE

FROST BITES

Micro Management. If you’re like Max and stand nose-to-glass with your lunch while it spins, don’t worry. The FDA officially suggests not pressing your face against a running microwave, but the actual risk is practically microscopic. U.S. safety standards cap microwave radiation leakage at 5 mW/cm² measured two inches away, and working units usually run 10 to 50 times below that limit thanks to metal shielding that blocks 99.9% of waves. Unless your door, seal, or hinge is busted, you aren't cooking yourself. Max’s microwave vigil might be weird, but hey—a watched pot never boils, and a watched tray never explodes.

Lost in the Sauce. Dolly’s ingredient list features a mysterious "Rochester Sauce." It’s a blend of vinegar, corn syrup, tamarind, and garlic powder. Don't go looking for Rochester on a culinary map; it’s just Conagra's secret alias for what is, ingredient for ingredient, Worcestershire sauce minus the anchovies (you'll spot the same stealth label on some of Marie Callender's meals). Since "Worcestershire" has been legally generic since 1876, there’s zero trademark trouble to avoid. Conagra must have decided to give the classic steak sauce a witness protection name.

Typing Practice. Dolly literally nailed the beat for the song 9 to 5 on the movie set by clicking her long acrylics together to mimic the clatter of a typewriter. That improvised percussion turned into her only solo #1 on the Billboard Hot 100, bagged two Grammys, and snagged an Oscar nomination—all for her very first film role. She practically wrote one of the decade's biggest anthems by accident between takes. The track even strutted all the way to Broadway in 2009, earning Dolly a Tony nomination for Best Original Score. Talk about working overtime.

The Book Lady. The Imagination Library began as a tribute to Dolly’s father, Robert Lee Parton, who never had the chance to learn to read or write. Launched in 1995 in her home county in Tennessee with just 1,760 books, the program has since turned the page on childhood literacy, mailing over 230 million books to kids from birth to age five across five countries. Best of all, her father lived long enough to see kids everywhere nickname her "the book lady"—a title he bragged about every chance he got.

Up the Auntie. For the record: Dolly didn't play Miley’s grandmother on Hannah Montana; she was the iconic "Aunt Dolly" across three guest episodes (2006–2010), while Hannah’s grandmother "Mamaw" was played by Vicki Lawrence. Off-screen, their bond is even tighter: Dolly is indeed Miley's actual godmother, having agreed to the role before Miley was even born. She's passed along plenty of legend-level wisdom over the years, including this gem Miley still lives by: "If you want something to happen, promote it before it exists—then no one can say no."

YOUR COLD CUTS

Are you a watcher? Do you stand in front of the microwave like Max as your food heats, or are you normal?

And a literal cold cut: yes or no on fried bologna? Have you had it? Would you try it? How’d you do on the rest of the Southern quiz?

Hit us up on the Let's Chill page and let us know!

ENJOYING THE POD?

BUY US A COLD ONE

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Fro yo' later!




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