You Wanna a Piece of Me? Rao's Uncured Pepperoni Pizza (Ep 71)

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The Bros review Rao's brick oven crust uncured pepperoni pizza—a frozen product from a legendary East Harlem restaurant with attitude that, as it turns out, has never actually served pizza. Max cuts his frozen pizza into slices and cooks a single piece in a toaster oven.

The story: Rao's has been slinging Italian food from the same corner of East Harlem since 1896. The frozen pizzas are newcomers, launched in 2022 by a company separate from the restaurant. Campbell Soup Company picked up the retail business in 2024, but the Bros wonder: where did this sauce recipe come from?

Plus: Catholic school punishments. Brushing teeth on the march. Ice cream flavors by state. And the Bros debate whether celery actually produces juice. (It does, Max.)

In the closing segment: Sicilian trivia tests Darren's knowledge of flags, wars, and geographic shapes. We were supposed to be in Sicily for this episode. We're in East Harlem. Fugetaboutit.

FROST BITES

Cure-iosity. "Uncured" pepperoni sounds like it skipped a factory step, but don't let the label fool you: all pepperoni is cured. Curing is the practice of preserving meat using salt and chemical compounds called nitrates and nitrites, which prevent dangerous bacterial growth (like botulism) and lock in that signature red color. The difference isn't the science; it's the source. Traditional pepperoni uses synthetic sodium nitrite, while "uncured" versions swap it for naturally occurring nitrates found in celery powder or sea salt. Because our bodies process both exactly the same way, "uncured" is ultimately just a marketing gimmick.

Roughing It. Darren claimed he was going camping last weekend and then told Max he’d be in Vermont. Max assumed Darren was probably glamping—the trend of "camping" in luxury, climate-controlled tents. But let the record show: Darren didn’t just stretch the definition of camping; he obliterated it. It turns out he was staying in a friend's luxury condo on a golf course. In D’s defense, he considers even being in Vermont “roughing it.”

Crave Reviews. Those Crav’n Flavor mozzarella sticks Darren tried are part of a line that makes everything from ice cream to spray cheese. But here’s the twist: Crav'n isn't a factory—it's a private-label brand owned by a massive grocery cooperative called Topco. They contract with independent manufacturers to slap the Crav'n logo on snacks for regional grocery chains. Because they prioritize massive variety over a single signature recipe, consistency can be a gamble. That explains the underwhelming review. We may not be cravin’ these again.

Here’s the Scoop. Food & Wine magazine listed the “essential” ice cream flavors across the country, and of course we checked our home states. Rhode Island proudly claims Coffee Milk ice cream—a nod to the official state drink of sweet coffee syrup and milk that leaves the rest of America completely baffled. Meanwhile, Massachusetts reps Marshmallow Fluff, a gooey staple invented in Somerville in 1917. And Connecticut? It seems that one state really loves its butter.

Stew Sensation. If you’re looking for that butter-dipped soft serve, it’s at Stew Leonards, a high-end grocery store cross-pollinated with a low-budget Disney World. Originally a small Connecticut dairy, it’s now a tri-state institution with eight locations across Connecticut, New York, and New Jersey. Complete with winding, nearly unescapable aisles and singing animatronic farm animals, it’s a beautifully chaotic staple. But the real headline this summer is the Butter Cone—creamy soft serve double-dipped into actual melted dairy butter, which hardens into a rich, salty-sweet shell. Delicious? Absolutely. Heart-healthy? Not in this lifetime.

YOUR COLD CUTS

Have you tried Rao’s pizza or other frozen meals? Have you had the jarred sauce? Have you actually eaten at the restaurant? The Bros want to know.

What would you choose as your state’s signature ice cream? And do you have a weird habit or ritual nobody knows about? Brushing your teeth while walking around like Darren and Max? Organizing your freezer in a completely nonsensical way?

Hit us up on the Let's Chill page and let us know!

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